Table of contents for Eldercare 911 : the caregiver's complete handbook for making decisions / Susan Beerman, Judith Rappaport-Musson.

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BEING A CAREGIVER                                       29
A. Do You Want This Responsibility?                        29
B. Making the Eldercare Decision                           30
If Eldercare Is Not for You                         31
If You Decide to Care for Your Parent               33
C. Handling That First Crisis                              34
D. The Fixer                                               36
E. The Effects on Your Family, Time, and Health            38
F. What If You Fail?                                       40
G. My Journal                                              42
H. Tip Sheet                                               44
A. What's Normal?                                           45
B. Loss of Loved Ones, Trusted Friends, and Advisers        48
Loss of Self                                         48
Loss of Independence and Control                     49
C. Decline Is a Fact of Life                                52
D. Why Parents Refuse Help                                  53
Difficult Parents                                    56
E. What Are the Warning Signs?                              58
Memory Loss/Dementia                                 58
Diminished Hearing                                   59
Diminished Sight                                     62
Falls                                                62
Incontinence                                         64
Self-Neglect                                         65
Drug or Alcohol Abuse                                66
F. Worksheet: Safety Quiz                                   67
G. My Journal                                               69
H. Tip Sheet                                                70
3. AGING IN PLACE                                           71
A. What Is Aging in Place?                                  72
The Obstacles                                        73
The Alternatives                                     75
B. The Importance of Early Planning                         78
When and How to Talk to Your Parents                 80
C. What Your Parent Needs to Age in Place                   83
Support from Family, Friends, and Neighbors          83
Medical, Financial, and Legal Documents              85
Flexibility and Lifestyle Changes                    87
Home Modification and Design                         88
D. Worksheet: Minor Home Modifications                      88
E. My Journal                                               92
F. Tip Sheet                                                93
4. INTERVENTION: WHEN? WHAT? HOW?                         94
A. Trusting Your Instincts                                 95
B. Planning Ahead                                          96
C. When Not to Intervene                                   99
D. Getting a Professional Assessment                      101
Private Assessments                                102
Public Assessments                                 104
E. Talking to Your Parent                                 106
F. Talking to Your Family                                 108
G. Choosing the Right Intervention                        111
Preventive Intervention                            112
Partial Intervention                               115
Total Intervention                                 117
Crisis Intervention                                118
Legal/Financial Intervention                       118
H. Taking the Car Away                                    119
Providing Substitute Transportation                121
I. Worksheet: Intervention: Trusting Your Instincts       122
J. My Journal                                             123
K. Tip Sheet                                              124
5. CAREGIVING REALITIES                                  125
A. Do You Have Realistic Expectations?                    125
B. Understanding Your Responsibilities                    128
Learning to Be an Advocate                         129
Hands-On Care                                      132
Supervising Others                                 134
Financial Management                               137
C. Recruiting Friends and Family                          140
D. Using the Skills You Already Have                      140
E. Where to Get the Training You Need                     141
F. Coping with Guilt                                      142
G. Worksheets
Important Telephone Numbers                        145
Recruiting Friends and Family                      146
H. My Journal                                            148
I. Tip Sheet                                             149
FROM TOXIC RELATIVES                                  150
A. Why You Need to Protect Yourself                      150
Know-It-Alls                                       152
Guilt Trippers                                    157
Work Disrupters                                   159
Parents in Denial                                  163
Disappointers                                      166
Sibling Battlers                                  168
Caregiver Self-Neglecters                          170
B. Surviving Saying NO                                   173
C. Worksheet: Protecting Yourself from Toxic People      174
D. My Journal                                            175
E. Tip Sheet                                             176
7. LONG-DISTANCE CAREGIVING                              177
A. Why You Need a Long-Distance Support System           177
B. Creating Your Long-Distance Support Network           181
Geriatric Care Managers                            185
Elder Law Attorneys                                186
Other Attorneys                                    187
Physicians                                         187
Friends and Neighbors                             187
C. Preparing for Your Visit                              188
During Your Visit                                  191
After Your Visit                                  192
D. Worksheets
Organizing for Long-Distance Caregiving            193
Important Telephone Numbers                        196
E. My Journal                                             198
F  Tip Sheet                                              200
A BALANCING ACT                                        201
A. Finding a Balance in Your Life                         201
Spouse or Significant Other                        202
Your Children                                      205
Your Parents                                       208
The Workplace                                      211
Your Needs                                         214
B. My Journal                                             215
C. Tip Sheet                                              216
9. FINDING AND USING HELP AND SERVICES                    217
A. What's the Right Support System for You?               217
B. Identifying Your Needs                                 219
Adult Day Care Programs                            223
Social-Model Day Care Programs                     225
Medical-Model Day Care Programs                    226
Medical Support                                    229
Family Support                                     230
Community Support                                  232
Parent Support                                     232
Significant Other Support                          235
C. Respite                                                236
D. Worksheets
Finding and Using Help and Support                 238
People in My Support Network                       239
Important Telephone Numbers                        241
E. My Journal                                             242
E  Tip Sheet                                              244
10. HANDLING BURNOUT                                      245
A. How Do You Know If You're Burned Out?                  245
B. What Kind of Help Do You Need?                         247
C. Reaping the Benefits of Respite                        251
D. Managing Your Time                                     254
E. Restoring Your Quality of Life                         257
F. Taking Care of Yourself                                259
G. Setting Limits                                         262
H. My Journal                                             265
I. Tip Sheet                                              266
11. HOW TO HIRE A HOMECARE WORKER                         267
A. What Are Your Options?                                 267
Family Caregivers                                  269
Paid Homecare Workers                              270
Geriatric Care Managers                            272
B. Evaluating Your Parent's Needs                         272
Duties and Skill Levels                            273
Expectations: Reality Check                        274
C. Interviewing the Homecare Worker                       278
Legal and Professional Certifications              278
Training and Experience                            280
D. Supervising Homecare Workers                           282
Your Responsibilities                              283
E. Your Right to Complain and Replace the Worker          286
E Worksheets
Seven Helpful Tips for Selecting a Homecare Worker  288
My Parent's Homecare Needs                         289
G. My Journal                                             290
H. Tip Sheet                                              291
12. MANAGING MEDICAL ISSUES                              292
A. Learning to Be an Advocate in the Doctor's Office      292
B. Choosing a Doctor                                      294
Board-Certified Physicians                         294
Geriatric Physicians                               295
Specialists                                        295
C. Preparing for the Visit                                296
Gathering Medical and Insurance Information        297
Bringing Medications and Prescriptions             298
D. Asking the Right Questions and Getting the Answers     300
E. After the Visit                                        302
Complying with Physician's Orders                  303
Getting a Second Opinion                           305
Returning for New Treatment Options                306
F  Understanding Patients' Rights and Responsibilities    308
G. Worksheets
Questions to Ask Your Doctor
(And What to Do with the Answers)                  309
Important Telephone Numbers                        311
H. My Journal                                             313
I. Tip Sheet                                              314
13. IN CASE OF AN EMERGENCY                              315
A. Reacting to an Emergency                               316
How to Avoid Panic and Unnecessary Aggravation     316
How to Handle Emergency Room Chaos                 319
B. Coping with a Lengthy Hospitalization                  321
C. What Is a Hospital Discharge Plan and Why Do I Need It?  323
D. Short-Term and Long-Term Living Arrangements           326
E. Weather Emergencies                                    327
F. Protecting Yourself in an Emergency                    330
G. My Journal                                             331
H. Tip Sheet                                              332
14. OVERSEEING MEDICATIONS                               333
A. Administering Medications                              333
Keeping Track of Medications                       336
B. Developing a Relationship with the Pharmacist          337
C. Pain Management                                        339
D. Misuse of Medications                                  341
E. Abuse and Dependency                                   344
F. Over-the-Counter and Alternative Medications           347
G. Worksheet: Tips for Overseeing Medications             349
H. Tip Sheet                                              351
15. DEALING WITH SERIOUS ILLNESS                         352
A. Insisting on an Accurate Diagnosis                     352
B. Managing Major Illness                                 356
The Importance of a Second Opinion                 359
Researching Treatment Options                      360
C. Coping with Specific Conditions                        361
D. Depression and Anxiety                                 362
E. Dementia                                               365
F. Agitated, Hostile, and Aggressive Behavior             368
G. Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome, or AIDS,
in the Elderly                                        371
H. Worksheets
Getting an Accurate Diagnosis                      373
Important Telephone Numbers                        374
I. My Journal                                             376
J. Tip Sheet                                              377
16. COPING WITH ALZHEIMER'S DISEASE                      378
A. Facts about the Disease                                379
B. Testing and Diagnosis                                  380
C. Treatment Options                                      382
D. The Effects on Your Family                              382
E. What to Expect as the Disease Progresses                383
What to Expect in the Three Stages
of Alzheimer's Disease                           384
F. Organizing to Handle Mild Memory Impairment             390
G. Primary Communication Tips and Coping Skills            391
Remember Your Own Needs                             394
Accept the Disease                                  394
Don't Take Outbursts Personally                     395
Keep Your Requests Simple                           396
Beware of Your Physical Attitude                    397
Use Strategies When Eating Out                      398
Avoid Crowds                                        398
Make Appointments for Midmorning                    399
Make Sure Professional Healthcare Workers
Are Savvy about AD                              400
Build in Routines and Encourage Pleasurable Activities  401
Use Day Care Programs                               401
Take Appropriate Safety Measures                    402
H. Remember Your Body, Mind, and Spirit                    403
I. Planning for the Future                                 404
J. My Journal                                              406
K. Tip Sheet                                               407
17. WHEN HOSPITALIZATION IS NECESSARY                     408
A. Facing Your Fears                                       408
B. Choosing the Right Hospital                             410
C. Being Prepared                                          415
D. Emergency Admissions                                    417
E. Preplanned Admissions                                   420
F. What to Take Along, What to Leave at Home               422
G. During Your Parent's Hospitalization                    423
H. Planning for Discharge                                  426
I. Leaving the Hospital                                    428
J. Worksheet: Ten Tips for Preplanned or
Emergency Hospitalizations                             430
K. My Journal                                             431
L. Tip Sheet                                              432
DEALING WITH ELDER ABUSE                             433
A. The Realities of Elder Abuse                           433
Finding Help in Your Community                     437
Protective Services for Adults                     439
Guardians                                          441
B. Physical Abuse                                         442
C. Familial Abuse                                         444
D. Financial Abuse                                        447
E. Homecare Abuse                                         448
F. Social Abuse of Drugs and Alcohol                      449
G. Rebuilding Trust and Forgiving Yourself                451
H. Ageism                                                 453
I. Worksheet: What to Do When You Suspect Abuse           455
J. My Journal                                             456
K. Tip Sheet                                              457
WHEN? WHAT? HOW?                                     458
A. Evaluating the Need for Change                         458
Safety and Quality-of-Life Issues                  460
Guilt Issues                                       462
B. Adapting Your Parent's Home for Safety and Security    463
Assistive Devices and Helpful Equipment            469
C. Moving Your Parent into Your Home                      471
Space and Territory                                473
Adapting Your Home                                 474
D. Adult Homes                                            476
E. Assisted Living Facilities                            477
F. Nursing Homes                                         479
G. Moving Your Parent                                    480
Who Does What?                                    482
Paring Down Your Parent's Belongings              483
H. Advocating after the Move                             484
I. Visiting Your Parent                                  486
J. Worksheets
Making the Decision to Move Your Parent           488
Moving Your Parent                                489
K. My Journal                                            490
L. Tip Sheet                                             491
TO A NURSING HOME                                   492
A. Making a Difficult Decision                           492
B. Choosing the Right Nursing Home                       495
C. Location                                              498
D. Religious Preferences                                 500
E. Dietary Requirements                                  501
F. Specialized Care                                      503
G. Cleanliness                                           504
H. Activities for Residents                              506
I. Who's Who in the Complaint Process                    507
J. Medication/Pain Management                            508
K. Patient Advocate and Bill of Rights                   509
L. Moving to a Nursing Home                              511
Making the Room Comfortable                       514
Clothing                                          515
Valuables and Personal Items                      520
M. Worksheet: Evaluating the Move to a Nursing Home      521
N. My Journal                                            522
O. Tip Sheet                                             523
A. Your Parent's New Relationship                         524
B. Remarriage                                             527
Financial/Legal Issues                             531
C. Dating, Love, and Intimacy                             535
Sexuality and Sex                                  537
Safe Sex                                           539
D. My Journal                                             542
E. Tip Sheet                                              543
22. DEATH AND DYING                                      544
A. Facing Your Feelings and Fears                         544
B. What Are Your Parent's Feelings and Fears?             551
C. Coping with the Death of a Child                       555
D. Active Listening                                       558
E. Honoring Your Parent's Wishes                          560
F. Funeral Arrangements                                   562
In-Ground Burial                                   565
Veteran's Burial                                   566
Mausoleum/Above-Ground Burial                      566
Cremation                                          566
G. Grief and Mourning                                     567
Saying Good-Bye                                    570
H. What Is Post-traumatic Caregiver Syndrome?             572
I. A New Beginning                                        576
J. Remembering to Care for Yourself                       578
K. Worksheet: Honoring My Parent's Wishes                 579
L. My Journal                                             581
M. Tip Sheet                                              582
23. CAREGIVER VOICES                                      583
A. About Comfort                                          584
B. About Strength                                         585
C. About Courage                                          586
D. About Friendship                                       588
E. About Hope                                             589
F. About Fear                                             591
G. About Love                                             593
H. My Journal                                             594
AND RESOURCES                                         596
A. Caregiver and Senior Organizations                     596
B. Elder Abuse                                            601
C. End of Life                                            602
D. Government Agencies                                    602
E. Healthcare                                             606
F. Housing                                                610
G. Medical and Disease-Related Organizations              611
H. Professional Organizations                             619
I. Relaxation for Your Body and Mind                      623
J. Travel                                                 624
NOTES                                                     627
GLOSSARY OF ELDERCARE TERMS                               631
INDEX                                                     643
ABOUT THE AUTHORS                                         667

Library of Congress subject headings for this publication: Aging parents Care Miscellanea, Caregivers Family relationships Miscellanea, Older people Care Miscellanea