Table of contents for How to win a fight with a conserative / by Daniel Kurtzman.

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Introduction                            1
Chapter 1: What It Means to Be a
Liberal                                7
What Breed of Liberal Are You?      10
The Liberal Manifesto               16
Rate Your Partisan Intensity
Quotient (PIQ)                    18
What's Your State of Embattlement?  21
Chapter 2: Know Your Enemy            25
The Conservative Manifesto          26
A Field Guide to the Conservative
Genus                             28
How to Rate a Conservative's Partisan
Intensity Quotient (PIQ)         35
Frequently Asked Questions
about Conservatives               38
A Glimpse into the Conservative Utopia  42
Chapter 3: Can't We All Just
Get Along?                            45
A Day in the Life of Conservatives
vs. Liberals                      46
Battle of the Bumper Stickers       50
What Liberals Say vs.
What Conservatives Hear           52
What Conservatives Say vs.
What Liberals Hear                54
Common Enemies We Can
All Agree to Hate                 56
Chapter 4: Basic Training             61
The Seven Habits of Highly
Ineffective Partisans             62
How Woefully Ineffective Are You?   66
How Not to Be an Asshole            68
The Ten Commandments of
Partisan Warfare                  71
How to Frame the Debate Using
Simple Jedi Mind Tricks           75
How to Avoid Unhinged Lunatics      78
Chapter 5: How to Win Friends
While Antagonizing People             81
How to Survive Family Sparring
Matches                           82
What to Do If You're Sleeping
With the Enemy                    85
How to Manage Workplace Squabbles   88
How to Clash with Perfect Strangers  91
How to Properly Engage in Internet
Flame Wars                        94
Chapter 6: Advanced Battle Tactics    97
How to Detect Bullshit              98
How to Trip Up a Bullshitter       101
How to Spot Logical Fallacies      103
"Strategery" for the Advanced
Combatant                        108
How to Argue Like a Conservative
in Fourteen Easy Steps           111
How to Win When You Can't Win
Them Over                        114
Chapter 7: Kick-Ass Arguments:
A Step-By-Step Guide                 119
Global Warming: Why It's an Issue of
Security and Morality            121
Taxes and the Economy: Why
Conservatives Are Fiscally Foolhardy  126
Defending America: Why Conservatives
Aren't Up To the Job             131
Iraq: Why It's a "Catastrofuck"    135
Bush: Why He's the Worst President Ever 141
Chapter 8: The Conservative Hall
of Shame                            147
The Wing of Sex Fiends, Perverts,
and Adulterers                  148
The Wing of Unhinged Lunatics and
Sociopaths                      152
The Wing of Morons                 155
The Wing of Crooks and
Corrupt Weasels                 158
The Wing of Chickenhawks           161
Chapter 9: You've Won the Battle,
Now Help Win the War                163
Six Unconventional Things You Can Do
to Save the World from
Conservatives                   164
After-words                         171
When All Else Fails: 27,000 Ways
to Insult Conservatives         171
Acknowledgments                     175
About the Author                    179

Library of Congress subject headings for this publication: Conservatism United States, Conservatism United States Humor