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TABLE OF CONTENTS Introduction: What It's All About 5 Transliteration 9 A note on Translations, References and Further Reading 12 I. Greeting and Meeting 13 Hello 13 Goodbye 20 How Are You? 21 Meeting 23 Simple Conversation: The Weather 24 Common Courtesy 26 [box] For-Friggin'-Giveness 27 Forms of Address 29 [box] People With Whom You Use Dee 29 [box] A Few Common Yiddish Words That Don't Fit In Anywhere Else 30 Five Little Words That Will Get You Through Any Yiddish Conversation, Part I: Noo 31 II. Stages of Life 37 A Few Empty Threats 42 Old Age 43 [box] Numbers 48 Terms of Endearment 49 Emergencies 52 [box] Gevalt 52 Getting Into and Out of Trouble 53 Less Serious Trouble 55 Five Little Words That Will Get You Through Any Yiddish Conversation, Part II: Takeh 55 III. Food and Drink 57 Whoopsing Your Cookies 58 Praise and Blame 60 Kosher and non-Kosher 61 [box] Strictly Kosher 62 Categories of Kosher 63 [box] Hot Stuff 64 Meals 65 Foods 67 Fruit 67 Vegetables 67 Baked Goods and their Toppings 68 Fish 69 Meat 69 Dairy 70 Yiddish Dishes that Have the Same Name in English 71 [box] A Mendel of Eggs 71 Beverages 72 Alcohol 73 [box] The Yiddish Mixed Drink 77 Five Little Words That Will Get You Through Any Yiddish Conversation, Part III: Nebakh 78 IV. Family Life 80 [box] Little Father the Chicken 82 Children 83 [box] Bad Seeds 88 Relatives 90 [box] Mekhitonim and Other Close Friends 90 Third Parties 91 [box] More Big Shots 94 Keeping Quiet 96 [box] Shveig 99 [box] To Bug and Be Bugged 100 V. Protective Phrases 102 [box] A Bit of Yiddish Baby Talk 107 Other Necessary Exclamations 108 [box] None Too Bright 111 Defence Mechanisms 112 Offence 114 Contempt 117 [box] Jesus Christ 122 Disparagement 123 It Can't Hurt 127 [box] Takhlis 128 [box] None Too Bright, part II 135 Five Little Words That Will Get You Through Any Yiddish Conversation, Part IV: Epes 136 VI. Madness, Fury, and Driving 137 That's All I Can Stand 139 Anger in Action-Driving 142 Simple Insults 145 Common Words for Fool 145 Words Rarely Heard Outside of Moving Cars 147 Simple Incompetence 146 Ironic Attribution of Intelligence 147 Rusticity 148 Botanical Origins 148 Sightedness 149 Hearing 149 Implied Comparison with Animals 149 Craniology 149 Disease and Physical Infirmity 150 Too Old to Cut the Mustard 151 Bad Character 152 Male Member 154 Women Only 154 Simple Actions 156 Driving Instructions 156 Behavioral Instructions 157 [box] More Jesus Christ 158 Things that Should Come Upon You 160 More Things To Do 160 Other Things That Should Happen to You 161 Volkswagens 163 [box] Eight Things to Say in Germany 165 Five Little Words That Will Get You Through Any Yiddish Conversation, Part V: Shoyn 166 [box] Cards and Chess Pieces 168 VII. Health and Illness 169 The Body and Its Parts 169 [box] A Bar-Mitzvah of Behinds 172 Internal Organs 173 Some Other Things to do with your Body 175 Health 176 Illness 177 Cover Your Mouth 178 Cover Your Ass 182 Self-Relief 183 Diseases in General 186 Are They Good for the Jews? 188 Other Indispositions 190 [box] A Little More Jesus 193 You Think You've Got Troubles 194 One Last Tsooreh 201 [box] Mob Yiddish 202 VIII. Love and Sex 205 [box] Shlock 206 From Shmalts to Shmuts 208 What's Not to Like? 210 Flirting and Dating 212 [box] Fifteen Yiddish Pick-Up Lines 215 Making Out 219 [box] Tongue-Tied 222 [box] Some Ways of Saying Penis That We Haven't Yet Seen 227 Eleven Designations for Women's Breasts 228 The Main Event 232 Twelve Terms for Female Genitalia 235 IX. Happiness and Pleasure 238 Appendix: Basic Yiddish Grammar 247 Glossarial Index 253
Library of Congress Subject Headings for this publication:
Yiddish language -- Terms and phrases.
Yiddish language -- Social aspects.
Yiddish language -- Idioms.
Yiddish wit and humor.