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Endorsements i Acknowledgments ix Contents xiii Foreword xix Introduction xxiii About This Book xxiii About the Authors xxvi About Love and Logic xxxii PART 1: LOVE AND LOGIC BASICS Chapter 1: The Foundation: Parenting with Love and Logic 3 First Things First: Self-Care 7 The Four Basic Love and Logic Principles 11 Chapter 2: The Basic Principles: Just What the Doctor Ordered 17 Principle 1: Build Your Child?s Self-Concept 17 Principle 2: Share the Control 19 Principle 3: Empathy Before Consequences 22 Principle 4: Share the Thinking and Problem Solving 31 Chapter 3: Loving Limits: Preparing Kids for the Real World 37 Developing the Self-Limiting Child 38 Creativity and Fun Help Children Accept Limits 44 Chapter 4: No More ?No!? Avoiding Power Struggles and Arguments .. ..49 Master the One-Liner 51 The Magic of Choices 55 Choose Your Words Wisely with Thinking Words 56 Say It with Consequences 61 The Energy Drain Technique 62 Problem Solve Together 64 Encourage Responsibility 65 Chapter 5: From the Inside Out: How Children Really Learn 79 Set the Example 80 Allow New Experiences 80 Demonstrate Empathy 82 Show Your Expectations 85 Offer Encouragement 88 Chapter 6: Now What? Tips for Parenting from Infancy to Adulthood . 99 The First Years 99 Preschool Children 107 Elementary School Years 113 Preteens and Teenagers 127 Into Young Adulthood and Beyond 138 Illness in Adult Children 143 Let?s Wrap Up Basic Training 148 PART 2: ADVANCED LOVE AND LOGIC APPLICATIONS Chapter 7: It?s Not Birds and Bees: Talking with Kids about Life and Death 157 The Trouble with Statistics 167 When We Don?t ?Beat the Odds? 171 Contents Parenting Children with Health Issues Chapter 8: You?re Not Alone: Psychological Issues Presented by Medical Challenges 181 Dealing with the Stages of Grief 182 Childhood Illness and Parental Guilt 184 Illness and Denial 188 Chronic Illness Blurs Wants and Needs 192 Where Is the Line Between ?Can?t? and ?Won?t?? 195 Chronic Illness and the Burden of Responsibility 200 Overreassurance 203 Overprotection and the Spiral of Hostile Dependency 203 Chapter 9: ?It?s Not Fair!? Handling Sibling Relationships 213 Coping with a Sibling?s Feelings and Behavior 219 Chapter 10: Unique Situations: Developmental Disabilities and Eating Disorders 225 Medical Issues and Developmentally Disabled Children 225 Eating Disorders 230 Chapter 11: Caution: Medical Challenges Affect Marriage and Family Relationships 251 Difficult Situations Strain Coping Skills 251 Difficult Situations Are Ripe for Triangulation 252 Chronic Stress and Self-Destructive Choices 254 Communication & Problem-Solving Tools for Adult Relationships 255 Chapter 12: The Final Word 273 PART 3: BONUS SECTION Section 1: Love and Logic Quick Tips 279 Section 2: In Their Own Words: Inspiring Stories 285 Section 3: Remembering Heroes 303 Section 4: Helpful Resources 307 Section 5: A Note to Medical and Mental Health Professionals 315 PART 4: APPENDICES Appendix 1: Endnotes 321 Appendix 2: Index 329 Appendix 3: Parenting Children with Health Issues Website Info 338 TABLES AND FIGURES Ch. 4: Table 4.1: Sample Enforceable Statements 59 Ch. 4 : Table 4.2: Logical Consequences vs.Punishment 63 Ch. 4: Figure 4.1: Power Struggle Paradigm 71 Ch. 5: Table 5.1: Praise vs. Encouragement 93 Ch. 6: Figure 6.1: Oral Cycle of Bonding 103 Ch. 6: Figure 6.2: Disruptions in the Bonding Cycle 104 Ch. 6: Table 6.1: Types of Parents 116 Ch. 8: Figure 8.1: Cycle of Overprotection 205 Contents Parenting Children with Health Issues xvii
Library of Congress Subject Headings for this publication:
Chronically ill children -- Care -- Popular works.
Children with disabilities -- Care -- Popular works.
Child development deviations -- Popular works.