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Table of Contents Introduction Chapter 1: Strong Will Means Willfulness What Is Willfulness? The Will in Willfulness When Will Is Lost The Conditional Shift One-Step Thinking How Children Learn Willfulness Chapter 2: Hallmarks of a Strong-Willed Child Where There's a Will There's a Want Where There's a Will There's a Won't Where There's a Will There's a Why Where There's a Will There's a Win Where There's a Will There's a When Where There's a Will There's a Whose Chapter 3: In Praise of the Strong-Willed Child Negative Connotations The Positive Side of Willfulness Contrasts with Weak-Willed Child Being Self-Defined Making Declarations Determination Chapter 4: Problems with Being a Strong-Willed Child Powerful to a Fault Controlling to a Fault Independent to a Fault Exceptional to a Fault Self-Focused to a Fault Intolerant to a Fault Chapter 5: Working for Willingness The Illusion of Parental Control Willingness Is Cooperation Motivating Cooperation Cooperation and Making Choices Subverting Cooperation Chapter 6: The Problem with Being a Strong-Willed Parent Characteristics of a Strong-Willed Parent You Teach What You Are The Tyranny of Now Power Struggles Excessive Needs for Control Chapter 7: When a Willful Child Runs the Family Parents Lose Their Sense of Priority Parents Can See Nothing but Negative Parents Are Scattered and Distracted Parents Focus on What They Can't Control Parents Are on the Reactive Chapter 8: Building Blocks for Getting Back in Charge Getting Communication in Working Order Clarifying Responsibilities Assessing Consent Asserting Authority Keeping a Positive Perspective Chapter 9: Roadblocks to Getting Back in Charge The Intractable Child Retraining the Intractable Child The Violent Child Encouraging Non-Violent Behavior Confronting Acts of Self-Violence Chapter 10: Handling Discipline The Goal of Discipline Respecting Choice Consistency Matters Most Principles of Non-inflammatory Discipline Guidance Supervision Structure Exchange Points Chapter 11: Handling Conflict Conflict in Action The Nature of Conflict Responsibility in Conflict Conflict Resolution Conflict Avoidance Sibling Conflicts Chapter 12: Maintaining Emotional Sobriety Emotions Running High Emotions: Good Servants, Bad Masters Taking Emotional Responsibility The Function of Anger Emotional Escalation Expectations and Emotion Emotional Overreactions Chapter 13: ADD and ADHD Children and Willfulness The Wandering Child and the Wild Child Separating the Condition from the Choice The Cultural Contribution Problem Solving Practicing Self-Management Skills Using Medication Chapter 14: Introducing Education Issues in Education Setting Academic Expectations Collaborating with the School Secondary School Vs. Primary School Public, Private, or Home Schooling Additional Education Chapter 15: How Adolescence Increases Willfulness What Changes? How Long Adolescence Lasts The Journey of Adolescence Parenting Challenges in Adolescence Resistance to Rules The Willful Push Chapter 16: Freedom and Willfulness Freedom at All Costs Contracting for Freedom How Freedom Is Earned The Matter with Money The Power of Peers Chapter 17: Willfulness in Early Adolescence Signs of Early Adolescence Letting the "Bad" Child Out Adjusting to Early Adolescence The Negative Attitude Rebellion Early Experimentation Chapter 18: Anticipating Later Adolescence Antagonism and Ambivalence The Willful Mid-Adolescent Push (Ages 13 to 15) The willful late adolescent push (ages 15- 18) The willful trial independence push (ages 18 -23) Chapter 19: The Willful Only Child Family Dynamics The Danger of Over-Parenting The Demanding and Controlling Only Child The Power of Being Precocious The Problem with Adolescence Chapter 20: Substance Use Increases Willfulness Substance Use Makes Willfulness Worse How Parents Can Help Why Children Use Substances Holding the Child Accountable Assessing Level of Use Willpower to the Rescue Appendix A: Helpful Web Sites Appendix B: Helpful Books Appendix C: Helpful Support Groups
Library of Congress Subject Headings for this publication:
Discipline of children.