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Warning from publisher to reader:
(a) Women with somewhat horse-ish facial features.
(b) Women who, while not super Jew-y, are more identifiably Jewish than, say, Natalie Portman.
(c) Frequent discussion of unwanted body hair.
(a) Instructing one's grandmother to place baked goods in her rectal cavity.
(b) Stripping naked in public-eleven times in a row.
(c) Stabbing one's boss in the head with a writing implement.
(a) Murder the main course of her Thanksgiving dinner before her very eyes.
(b) Tell her that her older sister is prettier than she, and then immediately die.
(c) Prevent her suicide by recommending she stay away from open windows.